The Only Ones Not Smiling are the Criminals!

I think the best stories are the ones that make you laugh out loud instead of simply shaking your head.  Here’s a small collection of stories that made me laugh – or at the very least smile!  Hopefully they do the same for you!

An Unusual Outcome

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.  She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun and I know how to use it!  Get out of the car!”  The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.  They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.  She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.  She tried and tried and then she realized why.  It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.  A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces down.  She loaded her bags into her own car and drove down to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.  He pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.  No charges were filed.

More Than Bargained For

A man attempting to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived at the scene to find a very ill man curled up next to the motor home.  A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal the gasoline and that apparently he had plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake.  The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

A Kid At Heart

A 25-year-old man in Utah wanted to get to Washington to see his mother for Christmas. Not having a car, he decided it would be a good idea to hop up into the cab of a $500,000 fire truck.  Apparently unable to contain himself he blew the air horn before trying to drive away.  The sound of the air horn naturally brought the fire fighters from inside the station, to see what was happening.  The would be engine thief put up a fight, but the fire fighters were finally able to subdue him.  Needless to say he never made it to Washington for Christmas.

Hidden Gems

A drug-possession defendant in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.  The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a “bulge” in Christopher’s jacket could have been a gun.  Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could examine the jacket. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

Remember committing a crime is unwise in it’s own respect – but also consider the possibility of botching the excursion so badly – that you become immortalized for being THAT stupid!