Dumb and Dumberer Criminals

Need a good laugh? Here’s more true stories of crimes committed by clumsy crooks.

Accidental Guilty Plea

A man fired his lawyer while on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in Oklahoma City. An assistant district attorney said that he was doing a good job at defending himself until the store manager testified against him. The man jumped from his seat, accused the woman of lying and said, “I should have blown your (expletive) head off.” He paused, then added, “If I’d been the one that was there.” The jury convicted the defendant after just 20 minutes and recommended a 30 year sentence.

Wanted Man Discovered  

A man walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. The officers asked for his identification so he could see how the system worked. He gave them his driver’s license, they entered his information into the computer and his background was revealed – he was wanted for a two-year-old robbery in St. Louis. The officers immediately arrested the man.

Robber Shows Victim License Before Fleeing

A man walked into a corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier handed over the money, the robber saw a bottle of scotch behind the counter and told the cashier to put that in the bag as well. The cashier refused and said, “Because I don’t believe you are over 21.” The robber showed the clerk his driver’s license to prove he was of age, so the clerk put the scotch in the bag. After the man left the store, the cashier called police and gave the name and address of the robber, who was arrested two hours later.

Burglar Gets Stuck in Pawn Shop Chimney

Firefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in a chimney while allegedly trying to break into a pawn shop in Arkansas. Apparently, the man spent the night in the chimney, and the store owner called police when he arrived the next morning. The would-be burglar was taken into custody on a commercial burglary charge, but denied trying to break into the store. According to the suspect, he was walking across the roof and simply fell in.

91 Degrees “Too Cold” for Arsonist

The Phoenix Police Department responded to multiple fire-engulfed trash cans at bus stops throughout the city. A trial of matches from one of the fires led officers to a man passed out under a “no trespassing” sign. The 60-year-old man was shirtless, sitting in a wheelchair and completely surrounded by matches on the ground. When asked why he started the fires, the suspect said he was cold. The listed low temperature for that day was 91 degrees.

“Butt-dial” Leads to an Arrest

Two men were caught breaking into a car after one of them accidentally “butt-dialed” 911 while in the midst of committing multiple crimes. The dispatcher who responded to the call decided to keep listening as the suspects discussed their crime. For 35 minutes she listened as the men smashed the glass and stole prescription drugs from the car. The dispatcher picked up on clues as to where they were and sent police after them. Soon, after the suspects were pulled over and told how they were caught.

Fortunately, these criminals’ screw ups led to their quick arrest… and provided us with a good laugh!

Stupid Criminals

Marie Bumbalough is a home improvement content wrangler for topics that range from home security to heating and cooling.